really complicated

it starts from when i felt a distance between us. i feel s lonely and he'd never been here when i was need him. until i found my happiness by my self, the other one came. then he made me feel soooooo comfort. he is my classmate. he really kind and make me feel so lucky to be his best friends. till i know that he in love with me when the 1st time we chatted on a social network and he can forget someone that he loved before.
oneday, i remember my rules that i can't be in relationship till i was 19th. he knew and so did i. but without the true status, we're in suspicion. everything's gonna change when i was with him. in the other side , the 1st man hasn't called me yet again. i always think that maybe he never thinking of me again. maybe he has forgot me. and i really disturbing for him. but in the deep of my hert i really miss him. and miss all our stories.
finally, my best classmate becoming mine when he get his college. i proud of him. istilahnya yaa dalam bahasa indonesia itu udah pdkt gajelas sampe sekitar 6 bulan. it's not a few time. then we're in a relationship. when i'm in surabaya, i always try to called the 1st man and we're back. i dont think that he wouldn't know about us. he must know! until one day when i really tired with my program in  my department , he asked and i tried to give my reason but it's late. he do really angry to me then chose to leave from my life. my heart so broken and my bf feel so sorry and apologize to me. NO! ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! this is mine. you shouldn't have to apologize. you really don't know me before. i'm so sorry i've never talked to you. and for my man, this is your choice. i know that you really disappointed to me, but so do i. why you always or everything that you talk to me to another persons? won't you everyone know my bad things? this is the reason why i also must angry to you, but i can't. i just can say goodbye to you and remind all of your advice and stories. i really love you as my soulmate and no one can change you. i know it'd be hard and long. thanks for everything that you gave  to me. and for my boyfriend, please be my best now. take care of me. keep my trust on you. i feel so lucky cause i got you that really really do love me.

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